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k. so there was actually a therapy session,yesterday. whenever im talking to myself, u know, i mean that outburst of emotions come really heavy to me. it just cripples me. and that should be controlled. im thnking, today i was myself. i didnt even try to be somebody else, to show myself somebody else, and i got some really matching friends! which i tried to stay away from them or pretend they're so not my type or they're so annoying
im thinking,i dont want anyone to take care of me. and i wanna be that powerful to do that myself. in those recent years, ive been taken care of so much, that now i cant really take care of myself myself. and yes, i became that much of a crippled person.
u know, its kinda funny, in a dark way, being lost!
and so, u know, today, i didnt really care about those things i told u.thats a super power IMO.to be able to talk to yourself and heal yourself. i wasnt that worried, to have a close distance, or saying sth or doing sth, and i didnt really care if they were doing anything. the funny thing is, i cant really remember any period like this in my life where im so obsessed with and worried about my relationships. well they suck. its just a great deal of mess, im telling u.
+im thinking, u cant express yourself truely in English, can u?
++u know anything has a price right? and u know the price of happiness, and no offence but, im kinda thinking u have the perfect type for success, well come on, get out of these shitty himans. im praying may god gimme sth good and may he foregive me. i dont know how many times times i told u, life sucks, and i know i should have some ballance but, at the end of the day, u should know your values to decide what to do and what not! right?
haha~ im kinda so calm today, like in a very meaningful and meaningless way! im at peace with myself rightnow!
+im telling u for the very last time. remember this ok? u should save yourself. with a good plan. i mean it worth it. this 3month really worth it if u undergo a lot of pressure for it.
++what about letting everything go then?
+well, i dont know! mabey you shoud just focus on doing your best the best possible way, and just remembering the reason.
.
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even if it turnns the darkest story ever, i prefer to be a believer, than a loser!
and i have GOD!
turn on your superpower bitch!
__i dont know if you will like my suggestion or not, but, can u just close your eye4s and open them when you're there?
_excuse me but, i aint go any fucking further with those eyes.
so!
talk to me whenever u wanned! i care about u. i really do!